‘Umar’s Protective Jealousy With His Wives


‘Umar’s Protective Jealousy With His Wives

‘Umar’s Palace In Jannah

The Messenger of Allaah said:

I saw myself (in a dream) entering Paradise, and there I saw Ar-Rumaysa’ – the wife of Abu Talhah – and I heard the sound of footsteps. I said, “Who is this?” He said, “It is Bilal.” And I saw a palace, in the courtyard of which there was a young woman. I said, “Whose (palace) is this?” They said, “(It is) ‘Umar’s.” I wanted to go in and look around, but then I remembered your protective jealousy.

‘Umar said, “May my father and mother be sacrificed for you, O’ Messenger of Allaah! Would I feel jealous towards you?

[Narrated by Muslim 2394, and Bukhaari 3476 & 6620]

According to another report the Messenger of Allaah said:

Whilst I was sleeping, I saw myself in Paradise, and there was a woman doing wudoo’ beside a palace. I said, “Whose palace is this?” They said, “(It is) ‘Umar’s.” Then I remembered your protective jealousy so I turned away.

‘Umar wept and said, “Would I feel protective jealousy towards you, O’ Messenger of Allaah?

[Narrated by Muslim 2395]

His Refusal Of A Gift For His Wife

Ibn ‘Umar said:

Abu Moosa Al-Ash’ari gave a mat to ‘Umar’s wife ‘Aatikah Bint Zayd, and I think that it was one cubit and a handspan. ‘Umar saw it with her and said, “Where did you get this from?

She said, “Abu Moosa Al-Ash’ari gave it to me.

‘Umar took it and hit her with it, then he said, “Bring Abu Moosa to me.

So he was brought to him and he (Abu Moosa Al-Ash’ari) said, “Don’t be hasty, O’ Ameer Al-Mu’mineen (Leader of the believers).

‘Umar said, “What made you give gifts to my womenfolk?” Then ‘Umar took it and hit him with it, and said, “Take it, we have no need for it.

[Taken from 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, His Life And Times, By 'Ali Muhammad As-Sallaabi, Vol. I, Pp. 134-135 & 251]

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5 Responses to “‘Umar’s Protective Jealousy With His Wives”

  1. Assalamu’alaikum Warahmathullahi wabarakatuhu Akhee,

    Could you pls give the extracted lesson from this story?

    JazakAllahu Khayr
    wa BaarakAllahu Feekum

    • Wa ‘alaykum ussalaam wa rahmat Ullaahi wa barakaatuh,

      This story shows ‘Umar’s jealousy he had for his wives, a characteristic which unfortunately, many ‘practising’ brothers do not posses.

      Having protective jealousy is no doubt an innate and noble character, and lacking it, is even one of the causes for Allaah Ta’aalah not looking at one (with His Mercy) on the day of Judgement, as is stated in the hadeeth:

      There are three at whom Allaah will not look at (with Mercy) on the day of Resurrection: (1) the one who disobeys his parents, (2) the woman who imitates men, and (3) the duyooth (a man who has no protective jealousy towards his womenfolk).” [Saheeh Al-Jaami' As-Sagheer 3/74, hadith no. 3066]

      From this story we can see how much gheerah ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab had for his wives that even those around him knew of it! Brothers need to revive this within them, and it has even gone to such a state where practising brothers introduce there wives to other brothers!

      You (O brother), O the one who claims to be a man! How can you allow your wife to attractively invite men to look at her? As no doubt the consequences will soon fall upon you, and you wil realise the grave error you were in… And then you will not be able to reverse the case (your wife going with someone else) as the matter has already fallen upon you… The consequences of freemixing are obvious to all those with intellect. An article explaining this can be fond here:

      https://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2010/06/20/victims-of-mixing-true-stories/

      Brothers need to learn from this story, the importance of having gheerah. Sometimes a hadeeth can be more understood when a story is also narrated alongside it (to show its practicality).

      A nice story of Az-Zubair and his protective jealousy he had, can be found in this post:

      https://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/reviving-our-sense-of-gheerah/

      Likewise a man’s gheerah can also extend to Muslim women as a whole, as is narrated in the story of the expelling of (if I remember correctly it was) Banu Nadheer, when a Sahaabah saw a Muslimah have her hijaab stuck onto the wall of a shop by a Jew, thus exposing her awrah when she stood up. Seeing this, he (the Sahaabah) killed the Jew. And the story is well known to all…

      O man (O REAL man), how can you have no protective jealousy towards your wife? Are you pleased in seeing her attractively display herself in public? Are you pleased in allowing her to smile at other men? Are you pleased in allowing her to ‘chat’ for 5mins with the man behind the till? So where is the special enjoyment exclusively between the spouses? Don’t you feel as if you are nothing more than just another man from among the men she mingles with? If she beautifies herself when she goes OUT of the house, then this obviously show you how ‘special’ you are to her! THINK ABOUT IT!!! Is she yours, or the whole worlds?

      Please read this post (https://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2010/02/05/o-brother-where-is-your-ghirah/) as a further wake-up call.

      Brothers and sisters, both need to realise that having gheerah is not abnormal., rather it is a noble characteristic.

      O man, what is wrong with the way you think?

      O sister, if you really want to be ‘free’ (as it is claimed) from his protective jealousy, then blame no one but yourself if a talaaq comes your way and you have no one to take care of you… Striving in this world alone… Going through the ups and downs of life alone… Previously with a husband, but now alone… No real man likes his wife talking to other men, so take this into consideration… If you don’t like your husband looking at other women, then know that no man likes his wife talking to other men…

      Some more articles on the issue of gherah can be found here:

      https://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2010/04/22/upholding-the-honor-of-your-muslim-brother-and-sister/

      https://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2010/01/18/protective-jealousy-ghirah/

      Sorry for the harshness (if any).

      Wassalaamu ‘alaykum

      • Wa’laikum Assalam Warahmathullahi Wabarakatuh,

        JazakAllahu Khayran for the beautiful explanation, Allahummah Baarik Feeka.
        No need to apologise, I totaly agree with what you have said.

        BaarakAllahu Feek

  2. 'Abdul ''Azeez Says:

    ” From this story we can see how much gheerah ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab had for his wives that even those around him knew of it! ”

    ALLAAHU AKBAR! Even the prophet (pbuh) knew of it! Not just that, but even in his dream he remembered! Solid!

  3. MashaAllah very nice article.

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