Advice To Musilm Women Regarding Their Husbands, Part 1


The husband’s rights over his wife are greater indeed than the wife’s rights over him. To such an extent that if prostration would have been permisible to other than Allaah, the wife would have to prostrate (do sujood) to her husband.

PROOF:

Aboo Huraira reported that the Messenger of Allaah said:

No one should prostrate to anyone else, but if anyone were to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to thier husbands, because of the great rights that Allaah has given to them.”

[Ibn Hibbaan, Al-Ihsaan, 4150. Al-Bayhaqee, Al-Kubra, 7/291, with a hasan isnaad]

 

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7 Responses to “Advice To Musilm Women Regarding Their Husbands, Part 1”

  1. Is this the same ruling for a man who is not the maintainer and provider of his wife?

    What if the Wife is the Provider, and maintainer of the home? What if the man does nothing but complain but does nothing and has nothing to give his wife? Not because of a physical disability but because he demands of her to do so?

    Should a wife prostrate to such a man?

    • A wife should NOT prostrate to ANYBODY – WHETHER THE HUSBAND IS GOOD OR BAD , RESPONSIBLE OR LAZY, BRAINEY OR IDIOT ! Hadith is using the word ‘if’ which means in reality NO WIFE should prostrate to their husbands . This word was used to show the importance of obeying husband in good, i.e. if the husbands demands his wife to fulfill his pleasure and she is not ill, she SHOULD obey the husband BUT remember its only when he is ordering something HALAL , NOT something HARAM !

      A man who doesn’t want to provide his wife he DOESN’T deserve any respect or obedience from his wife! These men are just burden to their wives. His wife HAS the RIGHT to get the basic needs fulfilled by him, i.e. food,clothes,medicine,acccomodation,intimacy etc, if he is not in authority then how can he deserve any respect?

      • Assalaamu ‘alaykum,

        FIRSTLY; The obedience to the husband is unconditional… (unless he obliges her to sin, in that case she must refuse).

        SECONDLY; The verses/ahaadeeth which obligate the woman to obey the husband, respect him, show his rights over him etc, are absolute and unconditional.

        The ahaadeeth (& this is the answer to the sisters question) which end with “…bcz of his great right over her.” are misunderstood by many. By Muslims and non-muslims…

        When he is the provider over her, and respect and high rights have been given to him. One of the WISDOMS (not CAUSES [asbab]) is bcz of the fact that he is the provider…

        And many people, who lack knowledge of the fundamentals (Usool) fail to understand this. (Islaaam is built on deep rooted fundamentals, not whims and desires where evryone has his own “i believe…” card with him which he pulls out in a debate).

        There is one thing about the reason/cause [asbab] of a verse/hadeeth, and there is another thing about the wisdom behind the verse/hadeeth.

        The husbands has great rights over and above her, and one of the WISDOMS behind this is bcz of the reason that he is the provider.

        Now if the WISDOM is gone, it does NOT mean te ruling is also gone. (That is a foundation principle.)

        But if a Cause/Reason for the ruling is gone, then the ruling is lifted/moved etc.

        One of the wisdoms why his right is so high is bcz the man is the provider.

        So wisdoms behind a ruling are different to causes/reasons behind a ruling. And both have their own various rulings linked to them…

  2. However, having said this, I do not mean to negate the fact that a woman can ask for her rights, please don’t let one’s emotions come into play when reading such posts.

    A woman obviously has the right to clothing, shelter, respect etc. as mentioned above in the comment by the sister. However, the right of the husband is indeed greater.

    Yasir Birjas has a nice set of lectures titled, “The Fiqh Of Love” which I have posted up about a week ago or something, please refer to those for more detail in shaa Allaah..

    As for a husband not working, then the solution is not for the wife to go out and work as that increases the mans laziness.

    When a man sees food coming on the table, sees the bills being paid, this causes him to relax as to what he is doing, but, if he sees that there is shortage of provisions (money) coming in, and that his beloved wife and kids are struggling, and there is no-one to take them out of this situation, naturally, he will feel the need to ‘get up’ and do something about it…

    Tho depending on how much time has elapsed it will take time for him to start moving…

    A man (and sisters please remember this), naturally wishes to be his wife’s superhero, but if she does not need that (i.e, if she is herself providing for the family) this makes him lazy.

    The root to a mans laziness is when he sees other people doing things for him (in this senario; the wife working), so the solution is not for he to continue doing what she is doing (as that has many bad effects on her, her husband, and the structure of the family), but the solution is to encourage him to work…

    Encourage…

    If a woman is working she is indirectly telling her husband that she does not need him (coz look, hey, she’s doing all on her own – she’s ‘coping’ isn’t she?) to do things for her.

    A man loves to be the provider, but if the woman is racing him in it, he will turn lazy and the woman is to blame for that…

    Please listne to the “The Fiqh Of Love” on this posts here: https://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/fiqh-of-love-by-yaasir-birjas/

    Wassalaamu ‘alaykum,

  3. Can u say again about the wisdom vs causes thing… maybe with another example, as examples makes it easier for me to understand hard issues. Jzk

    • Assalaamu ‘alaykum,

      For example, the traveler shortens his/her salaah, & this is a must.

      Now the reason/cause behind this is bcz he/she is traveling. The wisdom behind this is the hardship.

      So if the wisdom is no longer there (i.e, the travel is easy, as it is nowadays via airplanes etc.) the ruling is still there.

      But if the reason/cause is no longer there (i.e, one is not traveling but one is facing hardships) the ruling is cancelled out…

      So, the argument by those jaahil laymen who have no knowledge of the usool (fundamentals) who say, ‘We don’t need to combine because in those days travel was thru hardship but in nowadays there is no hardship’ is a false one as they have not studied the deen, or if they have ‘studied’ the deen, they have mixed up the wisdom with the reason/cause.

      So if a person were facing hardships (i.e, bcz of his work or something), then the shortening is not valid for him, bcz the hardship was one of the wisdoms behind the shortening, not the reason/cause…

      I hope this has helped somewhat…

      Wassalaamu ‘alaykum.

  4. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Marriage is slavery, so be careful with regard to whom you give your daughter for enslavement.” In al-Tirmidhi and elsewhere it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I urge you to treat women well, for they are prisoners with you.”

    So a woman is like a slave or prisoner of her husband, and she cannot go out of his house except with his permission, whether her father, her mother or anyone else tells her to do that, according to the consensus of the imams. Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/148

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