Advice To Musilmahs Regarding Their Husbands, Part 11
There Is Reward In Sexual Intercourse Between The Spouses:
Aboo Dharr narrated the Messenger of Allaah said:
“In the intimacy (sexual relations) of any one of you there is charity [sadaqah].“
They said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah (saw), if one of us fulfils his (sexual) desires will he be rewarded for that?‘
He (saw) said:
“Don’t you see that if he does that in a haraam [unlawful] manner, he will carry a burden of sin for that? By the same token, if he does that in a permissible manner, that will bring him reward.“
[Musilm & Ahmad]
It is permissible for a man and wife to enjoy each other, and enjoy each other’s body except (a) sexual intercourse through the back passage, and (b) having sexual relations with her when she is in her state of major ritual impurity (menstruation etc.).
A question can be asked here:
‘Is it permissible for her to help him ejaculate in manners other than sexual relations?’
The answer to this is that it is permissible for her to help him in this provided, both are happy to proceed.
Likewise it is permissible for both the husband and the wife to be completely naked when having intercourse, and to see one another. The body of the wife is halaal for the husband and the body of the huband is halaal for the wife. In this regard, the Prophet (saw) said:
“Guard your ‘awrah, except from your wife or your landmaiders (i.e, what your right hands posses).“
[Ahmad, Aboo daawodd, At-Tirmidhee, An-Nisaa’ee & Ibn Maajah]
Another proof for this is found in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (ra) who said:
“The Prophet (saw) and I used to do ghusl following janaabah from a single vessel.“
[Bukhaaree, Ahmad among others]
We also know that ‘Aa’ishah (ra) used to go sleep only wearing her lower garment, and the Prophet (saw) used to ‘fodder’ her upper body, as the narrations state.
Furthermore, it is permissible for both to play with one another in a lovable, and intimate way as the Prophet (saw) said to Jabir bin ‘Abdullah”
“Why didn’t you marry a young girl, so you can play with her and she can play with you.“