Speaking To An Angered Husband
Allaah says: “Go, both of you, to Pharoah for he has indeed transgressed all bounds, but speak to him gently, so that perchance he will take heed or fear (Allaah).” [20:43]
In this verse Allaah addresses Prophet Moosaa (as) and tells him to speak to Pharoah in a gentle manner. And who was Pharoah? He was the biggest sinner, the most evil man at that time, the most arrogant oppressor.
My sisters, if a dispute breaks between you and your husband, then know that by you raising your voice when speaking to your husband, you r only increasing him in anger. And the more angry a man gets, the more harder it is for him to cool down.
Your husband, no matter how arrogant he may be, no matter how unjust he may be towards you, he is no where near as oppressive and arrogant as Pharoah. And yet Allaah ordered Moosaa to speak to Pharoah gently, i.e., with kindness.
My sisters, if a dispute breaks out between you and your husband then by you shouting back or giving him attitude, then you r doing nothing but digging a deeper black hole for yourself. If there is one main thing which makes a man really hate his wife, then it is such behaviour. As speaking in such a way will only increase your husband in nothing but anger, the more angry a man gets, the more harder it is for him to cool down.
If you truly wish to be treated in kindness then gentleness is the key. Repress evil with kindness and you will see that he in whose heart was enmity will turn to love. Repressing anger may be hard, but know that “No one humbles himself for the sake of Allaah, but Allaah will raise his status.” [Muslim]
And I end by reminding my sisters that shouting back, giving him attitude, being sarcastic etc., are all characteristics which will only increase your husband in anger. No good will come out of such behaviour and you will only be on the receiving end of an even more angrier husband. Such behaviour will make your husband reciprocate with harshness, rudeness and arrogance. It angers a man beyond limits; and the more angry a man gets, the more harder it is for him to cool down.