Archive for the Parenting Category

Behind Every Successful Man Is A Mother

Posted in Parenting, Sisters Base on December 1, 2016 by TheAuthenticBase

Shaykh ‘Abdullaah ‘Azzaam said:

“Mothers play a great role in building a generation. The better a mother is at raising her children, the more successfully the Ummah is built and the more successful it is at producing heroes. You hardly ever see a great man except that a great woman is behind him who left some of her traits in his personality by way of the milk from which he was fed and the warm embrace in which he sought refuge.

Most men find it hard to remove these shining images from their minds that they retain of their mothers. These outstanding images that ran through his veins from a young age remain engraved in his mind, and he cannot help but to remember them with veneration and pride. He recalls the simple, clear words that his mother left his spirit with, and these words grow to become milestones in his path and guiding lights on his quest.

He cannot help but to place himself under the vast shade that his mother provided for him throughout the long course of his life, nurtured by the pleasant emotions and mixed with the eternal days of his life. These realities grow in his spirit and become an inseparable part of his personality that he cannot let go of without letting go of his humanity.”

[Majallat Al-Jihaad #36]

Blessed Mothers

Posted in Inspirational Stories, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , on September 20, 2015 by TheAuthenticBase

Umm Salamah:

During the battle of the Camel, the Mother of the Believers Umm Salamah (ra) sent her son ‘Umar Ibn Abi Salamah to ‘Ali with the message: “By Allaah, he is dearer to me than my own self; he will go out with you to fight alongside you.” He went out with ‘Ali (ra) and remained with him. [Ansaab Al-Ashraf, 4/224]

Mu’aathah, the wife of Silah:

Silah Ibn Aktam told his son: “O my son, go ahead and fight!” His son went ahead and was killed. Later on Silah himself was killed. When Mu’aathah the wife of Silah received the news of the death of both her husband and son, she told the woman who came to give their condolences: “If you are coming to congratulate me then welcome. If you are here to give me condolences then you must leave!” [Siyar A’laam An-Nubula, quoting from “Mashari Al-Ashwaq Ilaa Masari Al-Ushaaq” by Ibn Nuhaas]

Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr:

The Battle Of Qaadisiyyah (14H) which occurred during ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaabs reign lasted for four days. On the second day of the battle, Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr urged her sons to fight. In the Muslim women’s camp in Al-‘Udayb, Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr – the poetess of Banoo Sulaym whose career straddled the jaahiliyah and Islaam – sat with her four grown sons, urging them to fight. She said, “You became muslim willingly and migrated by choice. You know what Allaah has promised of great reward to the Muslims who fight the kaafirs, and you know that the realm which abides is better than the realm which will pass away. Allaah says, ‘O you who believe! Endure and be more patient [than your enemy], and guard your territory [by stationing army units permanently at the places from where the enemy can attack you], and fear Allaah so that you may be successful.‘ [3:200] If you wake up safe and sound tomorrow, inshaaAllah, then go and fight your enemy, seeking Allaah’s support against His enemies. When you the fighting grow tense, then go forth. If you do that, you will gain booty and honour in the Hereafter.”

Umm Haarithah:

Haarithah was killed during the battle of Badr by a stray arrow. Anas narrated that the mother of Harithaah came to the Messenger of Allaah and asked him, “O Messenger of Allaah, won’t you tell me about my son Haarithah? If he is in Paradise I would be patient. If he is not I would cry for him.” The Messenger of Allaah said, “Have you lost your mind?! It is not one Paradise but many, and your son is in the highest one: Al-Firdous!” [Bukhaaree]

How Az-Zubayr Used To Name His Children

Posted in Brothers Base, Methodology Of The Salaf, Miscellaneous, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

Due to Az-Zubayr’s deep love of martyrdom, he named his sons after martyred Companions.

Hishaam Ibn ‘Urwah narrated that his father said that Az-Zubayr said:

Talhah named his sons after Prophets when he learned that there would be no Prophet after Muhammad (saw). But I named my children after martyrs, in the hope that they will attain martyrdom:

Abdullah after Abdullah Ibn Jahsh, Al-Mundhir after Al-Mundhir Ibn ‘Amr, ‘Urwah after ‘Urwah Ibn Mas’ood, Hamzah after Hamzah, Ja’far after Ja’far Ibn Abee Taalib, Mus’ab after Mus’ab Ibn ‘Umayr, ‘Ubaydah after ‘Ubaydah ibn al-Haarith, Khaalid after Khaalid Ibn Sa’eed and ‘Amr after ‘Amr Ibn Sa’eed Ibn Al-‘Aas, who was killed at Yarmook.

[At-Tabaqaat, 3/101]

Advice On Raising Children

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

The school, the street, your neighbours, or maid should not play the largest role in raising your children. Rather you are specifically responsible for his task. The Prophet (saw) said:

A woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them.” [Bukhaaree]

Perhaps while you are cultivating your children, instilling within them guidance and moral standards, another person may come along and destroy that which you have worked hard to build. So do not allow others to raise and watch over your children; they may see from others that which disrupts the moral values that you have instilled.

Along with this, your home has certain standards and techniques in child rearing, which may differ from the techniques of you relatives. So observe your children an hour after mixing with their cousins. Do not neglect the importance of correcting misunderstandings, which they may have picked up while with other children; and encourage them to embrace the proper outlook.

[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, pp.56-57]

Shaykh ‘Abdullaah ‘Azzaam’s Advice To Mothers

Posted in Miscellaneous, Parenting on June 10, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

Shaykh ‘Abdullaah ‘Azzaam said:

“Bring up your children to be brave and courageous. Let your houses be places for lions, not chicken farms in which your sons will be fed then slaughtered by tyrants like sheep.

Instil in the hearts of your sons the love for Jihaad and the love of battlefields. Share the problems of the Muslim Ummah. Live one day a week like refugees and Mujaahideen live. They live on dry bread and tea.”

 

Teaching And Disciplining Children

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2013 by TheAuthenticBase

Al-Hasan Al-Basree said:

“The effect of learning in early age is like engraving on a stone.” [Bahjat Al-Majaalis, 1/109]

Ibn Al-Jawzee said:

“Parents should teach the child about religious purity and how to pray, and they should lightly discipline the child for not praying after they reach nine years of age. In addition, they should encourage children to memorize the Quraan and make them listen to the hadeeths, and they should teach them whatever they can handle from knowledge.

Moreover, they should show them the ugliness of all that is ugly, and encourage them to acquire good morals and they should not slacken in teaching them as much as they can bear, for this is the stage of plantation.” [Awakening From The Sleep Of Heedlessness, by Ibn Al-Jawzee, pp. 22-23]

A poet said:

“If you straighten the branches of a plant, they will straighten up.
But the wood of a tree does not soften if you amend it.
Discipline might benefit a little boy in his cradle,
But it does not benefit an old man.”

‘Abdul-Maalik Ibn Marwaan used to love his son Al-Waleed too much but he overlooked disciplining him.Because of that, Al-Waleed ended up making mistakes in grammar and syntax. So ‘Abdul-Maalik said, “Our love for Al-Waleed harmed him!

Every Mother Is A Da’ee, By Ibn ‘Uthaymeen

Posted in Dawah Toolkit, Knowledge, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , on December 3, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

A woman first and foremost needs to be righteous herself, so that she can be a good example for her daughters…

A woman should train her children properly, for her children represent the men and women of the future. In the earliest stages of their development, it is the mothers that human beings learn from. If she is a good mother, good in her manners and dealings and good in the way she brings up her children, then those children will take after her and contribute positively to the betterment of society.

Every mother, then, must dedicate herself to training her children, and if she cannot undertake their training on her own, then their father or another guardian – for example, a brother or uncle, if their father is dead – should help her to raise them.

A woman should not yield to difficult circumstances, feeling that she cannot change her situation or her family’s situation for the better.

[The Islaamic Awakening, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Pp. 223 & 229]

Protecting Your Wives And Children, By Sh. Saalih As-Suhaymee

Posted in Brothers Base, Marriage, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , on April 26, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

“They (the true believers) always supplicate to Allaah to rectify their wives and children:

And those who say, ‘Our Lord, bestow on us from our wives and offspring those who will be the comfort of our eyes’.

How will they be a comfort to the eyes? If they are obedient to Allaah and if you educate and cultivate them well, such that they are steadfast in the prayer and in doing good, when they use good speech and when they are regular in reading the Quraan because you taught them to be attached to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Messenger (saw) You protected your wife and children from going with the people of desires and atheists and away form the deviated people who have doubts.

Your children will be a comfort for your eyes if you trained them upon the obedience to Allaah from their childhood and are good to them from a young age, for as you are to them, they will be to you!

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What The Scholars Have Said Regarding Who Takes Custody Of The Children After Divorce

Posted in Marriage, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Al-Khattaabee (d.388h) said in Al-Ma’aalim:

“This is for the child who can reason and is no longer in need of nursing, if so, then he chooses between the two parents.”

Though the scholars have differed regarding this.

Imaam Ash-Shaafi’ee (d.204h) says:

“If he turns seven or eight years of age, he chooses.”

This is what Ishaaq (d.238h) said as well.

Imaam Ahmad said:

“He chooses when he has grown up.”

The people of ra’yee (opinion) and Sufyaan Ath-Thawree (d.167h) say:

“The mother has more right to the child until he can eat by himself and dress himself. And with the girl, until she has her menses, then the father has more right.”

Imaam Maalik says:

“The mother has more right to the girls until they can marry, even after having their menses. And as for the boys, he has more right to them until they reach the age of puberty (and then they can decide for themselves).”

Al-Khattaabee said:

“It is likely that those who leave off the choice [of the child]and go to the father having more right as kong as the child is no longer in need of nursing, go to that because the mother is the one who does the nursing of the child and she is more caring in that. And when the child passes the age of nursing, then he is in need of the father and sustenance and the father is a better protector for him than the mother.”

[Quotes extracted form “The Legislated Divorce” by Shaykh Badee’ Ud-Deen As-Sindhee]

Dangerous Literature Can Effect Ones Religion, By Ibn ‘Uthaymeen

Posted in Brothers Base, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Another reason for the youth’s problems is the reading of dangerous literature like treatises, newspapers, magazines and other material which cast doubt in the person concerning his religion and belief. These reading materials lead him to Hell and degenerate his virtuous manners.

This literature causes him to fall into Kufr and evil if he doesn’t have a strong defense of profound Islaamic education and acuteness, in order for him to be able to distinguish between the truth and falsehood or that which is beneficial from that which is harmful.

The reading of literature like this turns the teenager completely upside-down. This is due to the fact, which they come across fertile ground in the minds and thoughts of the youth without hindrance.

Accordingly, these dangerous ideas are deeply rooted and are reflected in the individuals’s mind and life.

[Taken from “Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab”, Pp. 32-33, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen]

The Necessity To Educate The Youth, By Sh. Saalih Al-Fawzaan

Posted in Brothers Base, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

The Prophet (saw) used to give a particular portion of his guidance towards the youth. The Prophet (saw) said to Ibn ‘Abbaas:

O young boy, verily I am going to teach you some words (of advice): preserve Allaah and He will preserve you. Preserve Allaah and you will find him in front of you. If you ask for something, then ask Allaah. If you seek assistance then seek assistance of Allaah.” [Tirmidhee, Ahmad amongst others]

In another hadeeth, he (saw) said to Mu’aadh Ibn Jabal while he was riding behind him on his donkey:

O Mu’aadh, do you know the rights of Allaah on the servant and the servant’s rights on Allaah?” [Bukhaaree & Muslim]

In another hadeeth the Prophet (saw) said to ‘Umar Ibn Salamah, and he used to teach him while he was a young boy. When ‘Umar laid his hand on the plate, the Prophet (saw) grabbed his hand and said:

O lad, say the name of Allaah, eat with your right hand, and eat from that which is closer to you.

… The religion places great emphasis concerning the upbringing of the youth because the boys will be the men of the future. They are the ones who will succeed their fathers, inherit from them and establish their role in life.

[Taken from “Min Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab Wa Kayfa ‘Aaleejuha Islaam” by Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan, Pp 16-17]