Archive for children

‘Umar’s Affection Towards Children

Posted in Inspirational Stories with tags , , , on April 1, 2016 by TheAuthenticBase

Sinan Bin Salamah said:

During my childhood, I was once picking fallen dates under a date-palm tree. Suddenly ‘Umar cam and all the children ran away (lol!) but I remained.

When ‘Umar came near I said: “O leader of the believers, these dates had already fallen.

‘Umar said: “Show me.

After seeing them, ‘Umar said: “You have spoken the truth.”

I requested ‘Umar to come with me to my house, because if I went alone, then all the boys would catch me and take away my dates from me. ‘Umar accompanied me to my home.

[Abqariyah ‘Umar, p. 206]

Blessed Mothers

Posted in Inspirational Stories, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , on September 20, 2015 by TheAuthenticBase

Umm Salamah:

During the battle of the Camel, the Mother of the Believers Umm Salamah (ra) sent her son ‘Umar Ibn Abi Salamah to ‘Ali with the message: “By Allaah, he is dearer to me than my own self; he will go out with you to fight alongside you.” He went out with ‘Ali (ra) and remained with him. [Ansaab Al-Ashraf, 4/224]

Mu’aathah, the wife of Silah:

Silah Ibn Aktam told his son: “O my son, go ahead and fight!” His son went ahead and was killed. Later on Silah himself was killed. When Mu’aathah the wife of Silah received the news of the death of both her husband and son, she told the woman who came to give their condolences: “If you are coming to congratulate me then welcome. If you are here to give me condolences then you must leave!” [Siyar A’laam An-Nubula, quoting from “Mashari Al-Ashwaq Ilaa Masari Al-Ushaaq” by Ibn Nuhaas]

Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr:

The Battle Of Qaadisiyyah (14H) which occurred during ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaabs reign lasted for four days. On the second day of the battle, Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr urged her sons to fight. In the Muslim women’s camp in Al-‘Udayb, Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr – the poetess of Banoo Sulaym whose career straddled the jaahiliyah and Islaam – sat with her four grown sons, urging them to fight. She said, “You became muslim willingly and migrated by choice. You know what Allaah has promised of great reward to the Muslims who fight the kaafirs, and you know that the realm which abides is better than the realm which will pass away. Allaah says, ‘O you who believe! Endure and be more patient [than your enemy], and guard your territory [by stationing army units permanently at the places from where the enemy can attack you], and fear Allaah so that you may be successful.‘ [3:200] If you wake up safe and sound tomorrow, inshaaAllah, then go and fight your enemy, seeking Allaah’s support against His enemies. When you the fighting grow tense, then go forth. If you do that, you will gain booty and honour in the Hereafter.”

Umm Haarithah:

Haarithah was killed during the battle of Badr by a stray arrow. Anas narrated that the mother of Harithaah came to the Messenger of Allaah and asked him, “O Messenger of Allaah, won’t you tell me about my son Haarithah? If he is in Paradise I would be patient. If he is not I would cry for him.” The Messenger of Allaah said, “Have you lost your mind?! It is not one Paradise but many, and your son is in the highest one: Al-Firdous!” [Bukhaaree]

How Az-Zubayr Used To Name His Children

Posted in Brothers Base, Methodology Of The Salaf, Miscellaneous, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

Due to Az-Zubayr’s deep love of martyrdom, he named his sons after martyred Companions.

Hishaam Ibn ‘Urwah narrated that his father said that Az-Zubayr said:

Talhah named his sons after Prophets when he learned that there would be no Prophet after Muhammad (saw). But I named my children after martyrs, in the hope that they will attain martyrdom:

Abdullah after Abdullah Ibn Jahsh, Al-Mundhir after Al-Mundhir Ibn ‘Amr, ‘Urwah after ‘Urwah Ibn Mas’ood, Hamzah after Hamzah, Ja’far after Ja’far Ibn Abee Taalib, Mus’ab after Mus’ab Ibn ‘Umayr, ‘Ubaydah after ‘Ubaydah ibn al-Haarith, Khaalid after Khaalid Ibn Sa’eed and ‘Amr after ‘Amr Ibn Sa’eed Ibn Al-‘Aas, who was killed at Yarmook.

[At-Tabaqaat, 3/101]

Advice On Raising Children

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

The school, the street, your neighbours, or maid should not play the largest role in raising your children. Rather you are specifically responsible for his task. The Prophet (saw) said:

A woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them.” [Bukhaaree]

Perhaps while you are cultivating your children, instilling within them guidance and moral standards, another person may come along and destroy that which you have worked hard to build. So do not allow others to raise and watch over your children; they may see from others that which disrupts the moral values that you have instilled.

Along with this, your home has certain standards and techniques in child rearing, which may differ from the techniques of you relatives. So observe your children an hour after mixing with their cousins. Do not neglect the importance of correcting misunderstandings, which they may have picked up while with other children; and encourage them to embrace the proper outlook.

[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, pp.56-57]

Teaching And Disciplining Children

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2013 by TheAuthenticBase

Al-Hasan Al-Basree said:

“The effect of learning in early age is like engraving on a stone.” [Bahjat Al-Majaalis, 1/109]

Ibn Al-Jawzee said:

“Parents should teach the child about religious purity and how to pray, and they should lightly discipline the child for not praying after they reach nine years of age. In addition, they should encourage children to memorize the Quraan and make them listen to the hadeeths, and they should teach them whatever they can handle from knowledge.

Moreover, they should show them the ugliness of all that is ugly, and encourage them to acquire good morals and they should not slacken in teaching them as much as they can bear, for this is the stage of plantation.” [Awakening From The Sleep Of Heedlessness, by Ibn Al-Jawzee, pp. 22-23]

A poet said:

“If you straighten the branches of a plant, they will straighten up.
But the wood of a tree does not soften if you amend it.
Discipline might benefit a little boy in his cradle,
But it does not benefit an old man.”

‘Abdul-Maalik Ibn Marwaan used to love his son Al-Waleed too much but he overlooked disciplining him.Because of that, Al-Waleed ended up making mistakes in grammar and syntax. So ‘Abdul-Maalik said, “Our love for Al-Waleed harmed him!

Protecting Your Wives And Children, By Sh. Saalih As-Suhaymee

Posted in Brothers Base, Marriage, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , on April 26, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

“They (the true believers) always supplicate to Allaah to rectify their wives and children:

And those who say, ‘Our Lord, bestow on us from our wives and offspring those who will be the comfort of our eyes’.

How will they be a comfort to the eyes? If they are obedient to Allaah and if you educate and cultivate them well, such that they are steadfast in the prayer and in doing good, when they use good speech and when they are regular in reading the Quraan because you taught them to be attached to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Messenger (saw) You protected your wife and children from going with the people of desires and atheists and away form the deviated people who have doubts.

Your children will be a comfort for your eyes if you trained them upon the obedience to Allaah from their childhood and are good to them from a young age, for as you are to them, they will be to you!

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What The Scholars Have Said Regarding Who Takes Custody Of The Children After Divorce

Posted in Marriage, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Al-Khattaabee (d.388h) said in Al-Ma’aalim:

“This is for the child who can reason and is no longer in need of nursing, if so, then he chooses between the two parents.”

Though the scholars have differed regarding this.

Imaam Ash-Shaafi’ee (d.204h) says:

“If he turns seven or eight years of age, he chooses.”

This is what Ishaaq (d.238h) said as well.

Imaam Ahmad said:

“He chooses when he has grown up.”

The people of ra’yee (opinion) and Sufyaan Ath-Thawree (d.167h) say:

“The mother has more right to the child until he can eat by himself and dress himself. And with the girl, until she has her menses, then the father has more right.”

Imaam Maalik says:

“The mother has more right to the girls until they can marry, even after having their menses. And as for the boys, he has more right to them until they reach the age of puberty (and then they can decide for themselves).”

Al-Khattaabee said:

“It is likely that those who leave off the choice [of the child]and go to the father having more right as kong as the child is no longer in need of nursing, go to that because the mother is the one who does the nursing of the child and she is more caring in that. And when the child passes the age of nursing, then he is in need of the father and sustenance and the father is a better protector for him than the mother.”

[Quotes extracted form “The Legislated Divorce” by Shaykh Badee’ Ud-Deen As-Sindhee]

O Parents, Don’t Deviate Your Children, By Sh. Saalih Al-Fawzaan

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

The Prophet (saw) said:

Every child is born on the fitrah and his parents change him to a Jew, Christian, or a Magian.” [Bukhaaree]

Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan comments:

“The newborn child is born with a fitrah [natural disposition]. Therefore whenever the parents preserve this fitrah and steer it towards good, then the child is inclined towards good. This is the outcome of a righteous upbringing.

On the other hand, if the parents deviate during the child’s upbringing, then the child’s fitrah will be corrupt and it will deviate according to how far the parents have deviated. So if the parents are Jews, Christians, or Magians the child will grow up on one of these polytheistic religions and his or her fitrah will be corrupted by shirk.

However if the father is a pious Muslim, then he will safeguard the child’s fitrah that Allaah placed in this child. Furthermore, he will nurture, purify, and maintain the child’s fitrah.”

[Taken from “Min Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab Wa Kayfa ‘Aaleejuha Islaam” by Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan, p.19]

Nurturing Your Children’s Fitrah, By Sh. Saalih Al-Fawzaan

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on March 10, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Allaah says:

If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, do not say to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say, ‘My Lord, bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’ ” [Israa:23-24]

Nurturing the body is not the only thing intended in this ayah. Nurturing the body is equivalent to just supplying food and drink. If a person nurtures his children by just supplying food and drink, then this upbringing is that of bestiality. Rather what is more important is the spiritual upbringing.

The spiritual upbringing preserves the pure fitrah, guides it towards sources of good, implants righteousness in the soul and nurtures it upon piety. This is the benefitial upbringing of a child, which has an effect on him, develops with him and stays with him.

Now, as for nurturing the body, then this is closer to corrupting the fitrah than it is to bringing it good. Whenever food, drink and other cravings are liberally bestowed upon a child and correct tarbiyyah is neglected, then these factors combined lead the child to become like a beast.

Conversely, when the child is nurtured physically, there has to be a reasonable and legitimate boundary that eliminates waste and extravagance. The spiritual nurturing of the child’s fitrah has numerous benefits. The children remember their upbringing while performing acts of goodness towards their parents.

[Taken from “Min Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab Wa Kayfa ‘Aaleejuha Islaam” by Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan, Pp. 20-21]

Corruption Of Children, Ibn Al-Qayyim

Posted in Dunya | Aakhirah, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honouring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them.

They have not benefited from having a child, and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter.

If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents.”

[Tuhfat al-Mawlood, p. 146]

‘Alee (ra) “So Be Children Of The Hereafter”

Posted in Dunya | Aakhirah with tags , , , , , , , , on April 10, 2011 by TheAuthenticBase

‘Alee b. Abî Tâlib –Allah be pleased with him – that he said:

The thing I fear for you most is following desires and having extensive hopes (about this worldly life). Following one’s desires blocks you from the truth, and having extensive hopes makes you forget the hereafter.

Verily, this worldly life is departing and the hereafter is approaching and each of them has its children. So be children of the hereafter, not children of this world, for today there are (opportunities to do) deeds and there is no reckoning, but tomorrow there will be reckoning and no deeds.