Archive for children

O Parents, Don’t Deviate Your Children, By Sh. Saalih Al-Fawzaan

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

The Prophet (saw) said:

Every child is born on the fitrah and his parents change him to a Jew, Christian, or a Magian.” [Bukhaaree]

Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan comments:

“The newborn child is born with a fitrah [natural disposition]. Therefore whenever the parents preserve this fitrah and steer it towards good, then the child is inclined towards good. This is the outcome of a righteous upbringing.

On the other hand, if the parents deviate during the child’s upbringing, then the child’s fitrah will be corrupt and it will deviate according to how far the parents have deviated. So if the parents are Jews, Christians, or Magians the child will grow up on one of these polytheistic religions and his or her fitrah will be corrupted by shirk.

However if the father is a pious Muslim, then he will safeguard the child’s fitrah that Allaah placed in this child. Furthermore, he will nurture, purify, and maintain the child’s fitrah.”

[Taken from “Min Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab Wa Kayfa ‘Aaleejuha Islaam” by Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan, p.19]

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Nurturing Your Children’s Fitrah, By Sh. Saalih Al-Fawzaan

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on March 10, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Allaah says:

If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, do not say to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say, ‘My Lord, bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’ ” [Israa:23-24]

Nurturing the body is not the only thing intended in this ayah. Nurturing the body is equivalent to just supplying food and drink. If a person nurtures his children by just supplying food and drink, then this upbringing is that of bestiality. Rather what is more important is the spiritual upbringing.

The spiritual upbringing preserves the pure fitrah, guides it towards sources of good, implants righteousness in the soul and nurtures it upon piety. This is the benefitial upbringing of a child, which has an effect on him, develops with him and stays with him.

Now, as for nurturing the body, then this is closer to corrupting the fitrah than it is to bringing it good. Whenever food, drink and other cravings are liberally bestowed upon a child and correct tarbiyyah is neglected, then these factors combined lead the child to become like a beast.

Conversely, when the child is nurtured physically, there has to be a reasonable and legitimate boundary that eliminates waste and extravagance. The spiritual nurturing of the child’s fitrah has numerous benefits. The children remember their upbringing while performing acts of goodness towards their parents.

[Taken from “Min Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab Wa Kayfa ‘Aaleejuha Islaam” by Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan, Pp. 20-21]

Corruption Of Children, Ibn Al-Qayyim

Posted in Dunya | Aakhirah, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honouring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them.

They have not benefited from having a child, and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter.

If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents.”

[Tuhfat al-Mawlood, p. 146]

‘Alee (ra) “So Be Children Of The Hereafter”

Posted in Dunya | Aakhirah with tags , , , , , , , , on April 10, 2011 by TheAuthenticBase

‘Alee b. Abî Tâlib –Allah be pleased with him – that he said:

The thing I fear for you most is following desires and having extensive hopes (about this worldly life). Following one’s desires blocks you from the truth, and having extensive hopes makes you forget the hereafter.

Verily, this worldly life is departing and the hereafter is approaching and each of them has its children. So be children of the hereafter, not children of this world, for today there are (opportunities to do) deeds and there is no reckoning, but tomorrow there will be reckoning and no deeds.

Be Responsible And Learn Parenting!

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2011 by TheAuthenticBase

Assalaamu ‘alaykum,

Looking at my stats it seems that not a lot of attention is being paid to the articles I’ve posted on about parenting.

Unfortunate to say, parenting is one of the main tasks of each and every one of us, whether married or otherwise, yet at the same time, one of the most neglected of topics learnt.

There are many negative aspects and attitudes some parents have towards their children. Just the other day I was doing some shopping and I saw a mother kick her little daughter in the store. The sad thing is, I knew this sweet little girl (as she was a mate’s 6 year old younger sister) and she saw me see her mother kick her. Allaahu akbar, the embarrassment on her face.

Kids only pick up habits from parents and those whom the parents allow them to pick habits up from.

For example, the child knows Arabic as well as english. Why? Because the parents speak Arabic.

The child knows Urdu as well as english. Why? Because the parents speak Urdu.

The child knows Somali as well as english. Why? Because the parents speak Somali.

Now, the child swears! Why? … Ask yourself?

Learn adab. As your kids inherit their characteristics from you!

What are your kids watching on tv? ‘Just’ cartoons? Have you ever seen what they watch? ‘Just’ cartoons right? So there’s no violence there? There’s no exposure of women there?

You think you’ve done your ‘fabulous’ job of babysitting by buying him a playstation or sitting him down in front of the tv, but thats just a cheep babysitter. That just shows your lack of knowledge of parenting. Thats just shows someone’s not a good parent.

If your answer to your daughter/son’s query is a simple reply of ‘shut up’ or a kick, then what are you showing them? You’re showing them that you don’t know the solution to the problem, your showing them that when the solution cannot be reached, when the problem cannot be solved, then proceed to violence and aggression.

Please, as ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab said:

‘Learn before you are put into scenarios/positions, because when you are put in scenarios/positions, you will have no time to learn.”

For your kids sake, learn parenting. And I’ll cut it short here and ask you to read the following posts:

A Mother – A Childs First Love

22 Tips For Parents

The Bitter Harvest

The Kids Would Have Known The Difference!

Spare The Rod And Love The Child, Please!

Working Mothers ‘Damage Their Child’s Health’

Our Children: Our Future

To Kiss A Child

And my all time favourites:

The Abc Of Parenting

To Parents From Their Children

Daddy Can I borrow $10?

And from the frutes of your hard work:

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

More stuff found in my ‘Parenting’ category here.

Advice To Parents: Teach Your Children The Qur’aan, By Shaykh Ibn Jibreen

Posted in Parenting, Qur'an with tags , , , , , , , on August 17, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

“…And we also advise everyone who is sincere to himself and who desires good for others to raise his children from the very beginning upon the memorization of Allaah’s Book.

A parent should encourage his children to love the Qur’aan while they are yet young, so that that love will remain with them as they grow up.

In this country (Saudi Arabia) there are many schools; in every area, there is at least one school that is dedicated to teaching the Qur’aan.

Children, in general, have free time at the end of the day, a time in which a parent should take his children to the said schools.

Parents should encourage their children to study in them, even if by means of giving prizes for attending and for memorizing. The children will benefit others, by the will of Allaah, and they will also benefit their parents…”

[Taken from “Islamic Rulings Regarding The Qur’aan”, p. 19. Quoting from “Majmoo’ Fataawa Wa-Rasaa’il” of Shaykh Ibn Jibreen]

Suggestions For Those Attending Seminars/Conferences

Posted in Knowledge, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 28, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

1) Make your intention for attendance sincerely to benefit yourself in your religion.

2) Lower your gaze when walking through the halls and at all times. Indeed one of the elements that assist a student in his quest for knowledge is taqwa.

3) Purchase all the material needed (books, notebooks, pens, recorders, etc) before attending the conference.

4) Find a group of righteous individuals to review with during breaks and at night.

5) Do not gather with others except that there is some religious benefit mentioned.

6) Try to sit close to the speaker; this is encouraged in the famous hadeeth of Jibreel (as).

7) If you find yourself falling asleep during a lecture, change your sitting place.

8) The student should review the information taught before going to sleep at night and in the morning. This will help a person to preserve what he heard during the day. It is noticed that many people spend the night chatting with their friends; this is a major hindrance in the path of the student of knowledge  and is alos a reason why a person finds it difficult to perform Salaatul Fajr in congregation.

9) After the conference os over and a person returns home, it is important that for the next few days or weeks, the student reviews all of the knowledge taught. The notebook should not be placed on the bookshelf, never to be touched until the following year. The only way a person truly benefits is when he reviews the past information efficiently.

An Important Piece Of Advice For Sisters Attending Seminars/Lectures:

10) Sisters with children should take turns taking care of each other’s children.

For example, 4 sisters (A, B, C, D) would like to attend the lesson, but all of them have children. They should divide the lectures daily.

Sister A takes all the kids for the first lesson while sisters B, C and D attend. Sister B takes the children for the second lesson while sisters A, C and D attend. If the sisters follow this method, inshaa Allaah, all will benefit.

And at night once all the children are asleep, all the sisters can gather and share the missed notes (and of course, adjustments can be made to this suggestion to suit specific needs).

[Taken from ‘Clear Advice For Benefiting From Islaamic Lectures’, Pp. 73-74]