Archive for divorce

What The Scholars Have Said Regarding Who Takes Custody Of The Children After Divorce

Posted in Marriage, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Al-Khattaabee (d.388h) said in Al-Ma’aalim:

“This is for the child who can reason and is no longer in need of nursing, if so, then he chooses between the two parents.”

Though the scholars have differed regarding this.

Imaam Ash-Shaafi’ee (d.204h) says:

“If he turns seven or eight years of age, he chooses.”

This is what Ishaaq (d.238h) said as well.

Imaam Ahmad said:

“He chooses when he has grown up.”

The people of ra’yee (opinion) and Sufyaan Ath-Thawree (d.167h) say:

“The mother has more right to the child until he can eat by himself and dress himself. And with the girl, until she has her menses, then the father has more right.”

Imaam Maalik says:

“The mother has more right to the girls until they can marry, even after having their menses. And as for the boys, he has more right to them until they reach the age of puberty (and then they can decide for themselves).”

Al-Khattaabee said:

“It is likely that those who leave off the choice [of the child]and go to the father having more right as kong as the child is no longer in need of nursing, go to that because the mother is the one who does the nursing of the child and she is more caring in that. And when the child passes the age of nursing, then he is in need of the father and sustenance and the father is a better protector for him than the mother.”

[Quotes extracted form “The Legislated Divorce” by Shaykh Badee’ Ud-Deen As-Sindhee]

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Advice To Musilmahs Regarding Their Husbands, Part 10

Posted in Sisters Base with tags , , , , , on December 27, 2011 by TheAuthenticBase

She Should Not Ask For Divorce For No Legit Reason:

Proof:

Aboo Hurayrah narrated the Messenger of Allaah (saw) said:

Any woman who asks her husband for divorce for no reason, the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden [haraam] to her.

[Aboo Daawood, At-Tirmidhee & Ibn Maajah, with a saheeh isnaad]

Advice Of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far To His Daughter Before Her Marriage

Posted in Marriage, Sisters Base, Words Of Wisdom with tags , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2011 by TheAuthenticBase

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

(1) Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

(2) Avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

(3) Adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

Beautiful Cursed Women

Posted in Brothers Base, Killing The Fitna, Marriage, Methodology Of The Salaf, Miscellaneous, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

On the authority of ‘Abdullâh Ibn Mas’ûd – Allâh be pleased with him, who said; “May Allâh curse those women who tattoo or seek to be tattooed, those women who remove facial hair or seek it to be removed and those women who put gaps between their teeth for beautification; those who seek to change Allâh’s creation.

This reached a woman from Banî Asad who was called Umm Ya’qûb and who used to read the Qur`ân. She came to [Ibn Mas’ûd] and said, “What is this I hear from you, that you curse women who tattoo or seek to get tattooed, and those who remove facial hair and those who put gaps between their teeth for beauty, those who change Allâh’s creation?

‘Abdullâh [Ibn Mas’ûd] replied, “And why should I not curse those whom Allâh’s Messenger has cursed and those who are mentioned in Allâh’s Book?

She said, “I have read [the Qur`ân] from cover to cover and I have not seen it mentioned.

He replied, “If you had really read it [carefully] you would have found it; Allâh the Mighty and Sublime said:

And whatever the Messenger gives you, take it; and whatever he forbids you, shun it. [Al-Hashr (59):7]

The woman then said, “Well I have just seen some of this on your own wife.

He said, “Go and see her.

So she went to the wife of ‘Abdullâh but didn’t see anything. She returned to him and said, “I don’t see anything.

He said, “Well, if any of those practices had been done I would not be with her any more.

[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim. This translation is from the version in Muslim]

Points to note

  • The teachings of Allâh’s Messenger have the same legal weight as teachings in the Qur`ân because the Qur`ân commands us to take everything the Messenger teaches us, even if it is not specifically mentioned in the Qur`ân. This refutes the claim of heretics who say we only need to follow the Qur`ân
  • It can even be said that a ruling given by Allâh’s Messenger is in the Qur`ân based on the verse quoted
  • Tattooing, removal of facial hair – including the plucking of eyebrows – and making gaps between the teeth for beautification are strictly forbidden in Islâm and are regarded as major sins. In another narration, hair extensions have also been mentioned
  • Exceptions have been made by scholars in cases where a woman suffers a condition that causes her to grow a full beard, or where filing of teeth and widening spaces are needed for medical reasons
  • Being cursed (al-la’nah) means to be removed from Allâh’s mercy; this goes to prove that these practices are major sins
  • People should ask Allâh to curse those whom Allâh’s Messenger has asked to be cursed
  • Women can ask male scholars about matters of religion and can converse with them for the purpose of understanding knowledge and legal rulings
  • Wives who remain disobedient to Allâh should be divorced
  • A person who helps another to sin is regarded as a participant in that sin

These points have been summarized from Ibn Hajr, Fath Al-Bârî and Al-Nawawî, Sharh Sahîh Muslim.

Source

Advice To Women Regarding Marriage: The Wife’s Role In Her Home

Posted in Adab (Manners), Killing The Fitna, Marriage, Sisters Base, Words Of Wisdom with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

Advice To Women Regarding Marriage: The Wife’s Role In Her Home

This is to serve her husband, bear, nurse, and nurture his children, and be a housewife.

If a woman is used to being immersed in the study and propagation of Islaam, and then marries whilst not clearly having in mind a role as a wife, she may begin feeling, very shortly after marriage, that her new role as a wife is a trivial one. This may cause her to begin leaving her house to resume her former lifestyle. It is vital, however, that she understand her role and obligation as a wife and the reward of fulfilling them. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (i.e. the month of Ramadhaan), guards her private parts and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any of its gates that she wishes.” [Abu Nu’aym]

The married woman must persevere through the hardships of pregnancy, pre-delivery contractions and the agony of the delivery itself. Some women refuse to go through such hardships and take birth control pills to prevent pregnancy, or, if they do get pregnant, prefer a caesarean section over a normal delivery.

‘Amr Ibn Hijr (may Allah have mercy on him) married Kindah Bint ‘Awf Ash-Shaybaani (may Allah have mercy on him). On her wedding night, her mother, Umaamah Bint Al-Haarith (may Allah be pleased with her) took her aside and advised her:

Dear daughter! You are leaving the environment which you are accustomed to and departing from the place you grew up in to a partner whom you are unfamiliar with. If a woman had no need of a husband due to her parents sufficing her, then you would be the last person to require a husband, but women were created to be the partners of men, and men were created to be the partners of women. Act like his slave, and he will become like your slave. Uphold the following ten matters and you will find them to be provisions:

– The first and second are to be content with what he provides and to listen to and obey him.

– The third and the fourth are to make sure that all he sees and smells from you are pleasing to him, so he should not see you in a displeasing appearance, nor smell anything but a fine fragrance from you.

– The fifth and the sixth are to comfort him in his sleep and food, because repeated hunger and lack of sleep will enflame his anger.

– The seventh and the eighth are to protect his wealth and take care of his children; the focal point regarding wealth is to have good judgement in spending it, and that regarding the children is to properly nurture them.

– The ninth and the tenth are to not disobey his commands or disclose his secrets, because when you disobey him you intimidate him, and if you disclose his secrets you would not know what he may do to you. Do not be joyful in front of him when he is upset, or express sadness if he is happy.”

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

“- Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

– avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

– adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

Source

The Communication Between Men & Women Over the Internet

Posted in Adab (Manners), Brothers Base, Killing The Fitna, Marriage, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 11, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

The Communication Between Men & Women Over the Internet

Compiled by: Abu Ziead al-Athary

Assalamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatuhu

The noble Shaykh Ubayd al-Jabari  may Allaah protect him- repeats his warning against communication, with mobile phones or over the internet, between men and women while claiming the justification of seeking knowledge or giving Dawa.

In an open question and answer session taking place every Sunday evening in the Paltalk room Salafi Duroos, the noble Shaykh said: ‘Communicating over the telephone is an area and way in which the heart of both the speaker and communicator will become attached to the others!’

Here is a transcript of what the Shaykh commented on after an answer to a similar question:

‘I would like to bring to attention a dangerous issue. Which many of the Muslim men and women who they ascribe themselves to knowledge fall into. I have dealt with this issue before but many of the people have refused it and that they have been obstinate and rejected the advice!!

From the news that has reached me of the danger of this issue, a person finds it embarrassing to mention it. And this is the issue, which is individuals speaking over the phone and communicating via mobile phones.

This matter has overcome many men and women with the justification of Dawa but this justification is not valid and it is an excuse which is corrupt. It is not hidden from every Muslim man and woman whose heart has been filled with the awe and reverential fear of Allaah, that al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation) is Haraam. The meaning here is that khallwaa is being alone with strange men and women.

As for the evil effects of this, as have been relayed to me, they are more severe than al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation), since al-Khallwaa in a house or in a car causes the people to look at them, as for communicating over the internet and sending and receiving messages over the phone then this is a hidden Khallwaa, which is only known to the Originator of the heavens and the earth and the noble scribes (Angels).

Indeed many women have complained that what has busied their husbands are these conversations and communication and I will mention some of their evil effects for you:

Firstly: if these communications are taking place in a chat room, for example in Salafi Duroos so I say in the name of those supervising Salafi Duroos this type of chatting is a sin upon you this type of chatting is a sin upon you, I do not hold it to be permissible I say this because I supervise Salafi Duroos so I speak with the ruling of a representative.

Secondly: Chatting like this busies one from learning knowledge, since those who isolate themselves by conversing with whatever they want from conversation, then they busy themselves away from what is transmitted by Salafi Duroos and from other knowledge-based lessons and this is obstruction in the path of Allaah.

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Do Not Marry 7 Types Of Women

Posted in Brothers Base, Killing The Fitna, Marriage, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

Do Not Marry 7 Types Of Women

By Ibn Uthaymeen

1.Al-Annaanah:

The woman who whines, moans and complains and ‘ties a band around her head’ all the time (i.e. complains of a headache or some illness but in reality she is not sick, rather she is faking).

2. Al-Mannaanah:

The woman who bestows favours, gifts, etc. upon her husband then (at that time or the future) says; “I did such and such for you or on your behalf or because of you.

3. Al-Hannaanah:

The women who yearns or craves for her former husband or children of the former husband.

4. Kay’atul-Qafaa:

The women who has a brand mark on the nape of her neck (i.e. has a bad reputation or doubts about her).

5. Al-Haddaaqah:

The women who cast her eyes at things (i.e. always looking at something to purchase, then desires it and requires her husband to buy it (No Matter What).

6. Al-Barraaqah:

The women who spends much of her day enhancing her face and beautifying it to such an extent that it will seem like it was manufactured.

7. Al-Shaddaaqah:

The woman who talks excessively…

[Taken from the Book: ‘A Concise Manual of Marriage’ by Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen]

Source

{{Personally I would add in that you should stay FAR AWAY from the unpious, no matter how pretty and gorgeous she may seem, for by Allaah, true beauty is in her character, someone who doesn’t annoy you, bother you, nag you, complain 24/7, someone who sees everything as sufficient is the one you want, who does not flirt with other men, and who doesn’t over step the boundaries of your gheerah. So simply put, a sweety pie who is pious… }}