Archive for parent

Advice On Raising Children

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

The school, the street, your neighbours, or maid should not play the largest role in raising your children. Rather you are specifically responsible for his task. The Prophet (saw) said:

A woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them.” [Bukhaaree]

Perhaps while you are cultivating your children, instilling within them guidance and moral standards, another person may come along and destroy that which you have worked hard to build. So do not allow others to raise and watch over your children; they may see from others that which disrupts the moral values that you have instilled.

Along with this, your home has certain standards and techniques in child rearing, which may differ from the techniques of you relatives. So observe your children an hour after mixing with their cousins. Do not neglect the importance of correcting misunderstandings, which they may have picked up while with other children; and encourage them to embrace the proper outlook.

[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, pp.56-57]


Teaching And Disciplining Children

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2013 by TheAuthenticBase

Al-Hasan Al-Basree said:

“The effect of learning in early age is like engraving on a stone.” [Bahjat Al-Majaalis, 1/109]

Ibn Al-Jawzee said:

“Parents should teach the child about religious purity and how to pray, and they should lightly discipline the child for not praying after they reach nine years of age. In addition, they should encourage children to memorize the Quraan and make them listen to the hadeeths, and they should teach them whatever they can handle from knowledge.

Moreover, they should show them the ugliness of all that is ugly, and encourage them to acquire good morals and they should not slacken in teaching them as much as they can bear, for this is the stage of plantation.” [Awakening From The Sleep Of Heedlessness, by Ibn Al-Jawzee, pp. 22-23]

A poet said:

“If you straighten the branches of a plant, they will straighten up.
But the wood of a tree does not soften if you amend it.
Discipline might benefit a little boy in his cradle,
But it does not benefit an old man.”

‘Abdul-Maalik Ibn Marwaan used to love his son Al-Waleed too much but he overlooked disciplining him.Because of that, Al-Waleed ended up making mistakes in grammar and syntax. So ‘Abdul-Maalik said, “Our love for Al-Waleed harmed him!

Every Mother Is A Da’ee, By Ibn ‘Uthaymeen

Posted in Dawah Toolkit, Knowledge, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , on December 3, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

A woman first and foremost needs to be righteous herself, so that she can be a good example for her daughters…

A woman should train her children properly, for her children represent the men and women of the future. In the earliest stages of their development, it is the mothers that human beings learn from. If she is a good mother, good in her manners and dealings and good in the way she brings up her children, then those children will take after her and contribute positively to the betterment of society.

Every mother, then, must dedicate herself to training her children, and if she cannot undertake their training on her own, then their father or another guardian – for example, a brother or uncle, if their father is dead – should help her to raise them.

A woman should not yield to difficult circumstances, feeling that she cannot change her situation or her family’s situation for the better.

[The Islaamic Awakening, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Pp. 223 & 229]

O Parents, Don’t Deviate Your Children, By Sh. Saalih Al-Fawzaan

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

The Prophet (saw) said:

Every child is born on the fitrah and his parents change him to a Jew, Christian, or a Magian.” [Bukhaaree]

Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan comments:

“The newborn child is born with a fitrah [natural disposition]. Therefore whenever the parents preserve this fitrah and steer it towards good, then the child is inclined towards good. This is the outcome of a righteous upbringing.

On the other hand, if the parents deviate during the child’s upbringing, then the child’s fitrah will be corrupt and it will deviate according to how far the parents have deviated. So if the parents are Jews, Christians, or Magians the child will grow up on one of these polytheistic religions and his or her fitrah will be corrupted by shirk.

However if the father is a pious Muslim, then he will safeguard the child’s fitrah that Allaah placed in this child. Furthermore, he will nurture, purify, and maintain the child’s fitrah.”

[Taken from “Min Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab Wa Kayfa ‘Aaleejuha Islaam” by Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan, p.19]

Corruption Of Children, Ibn Al-Qayyim

Posted in Dunya | Aakhirah, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2012 by TheAuthenticBase

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honouring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them.

They have not benefited from having a child, and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter.

If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents.”

[Tuhfat al-Mawlood, p. 146]

Be Responsible And Learn Parenting!

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2011 by TheAuthenticBase

Assalaamu ‘alaykum,

Looking at my stats it seems that not a lot of attention is being paid to the articles I’ve posted on about parenting.

Unfortunate to say, parenting is one of the main tasks of each and every one of us, whether married or otherwise, yet at the same time, one of the most neglected of topics learnt.

There are many negative aspects and attitudes some parents have towards their children. Just the other day I was doing some shopping and I saw a mother kick her little daughter in the store. The sad thing is, I knew this sweet little girl (as she was a mate’s 6 year old younger sister) and she saw me see her mother kick her. Allaahu akbar, the embarrassment on her face.

Kids only pick up habits from parents and those whom the parents allow them to pick habits up from.

For example, the child knows Arabic as well as english. Why? Because the parents speak Arabic.

The child knows Urdu as well as english. Why? Because the parents speak Urdu.

The child knows Somali as well as english. Why? Because the parents speak Somali.

Now, the child swears! Why? … Ask yourself?

Learn adab. As your kids inherit their characteristics from you!

What are your kids watching on tv? ‘Just’ cartoons? Have you ever seen what they watch? ‘Just’ cartoons right? So there’s no violence there? There’s no exposure of women there?

You think you’ve done your ‘fabulous’ job of babysitting by buying him a playstation or sitting him down in front of the tv, but thats just a cheep babysitter. That just shows your lack of knowledge of parenting. Thats just shows someone’s not a good parent.

If your answer to your daughter/son’s query is a simple reply of ‘shut up’ or a kick, then what are you showing them? You’re showing them that you don’t know the solution to the problem, your showing them that when the solution cannot be reached, when the problem cannot be solved, then proceed to violence and aggression.

Please, as ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab said:

‘Learn before you are put into scenarios/positions, because when you are put in scenarios/positions, you will have no time to learn.”

For your kids sake, learn parenting. And I’ll cut it short here and ask you to read the following posts:

A Mother – A Childs First Love

22 Tips For Parents

The Bitter Harvest

The Kids Would Have Known The Difference!

Spare The Rod And Love The Child, Please!

Working Mothers ‘Damage Their Child’s Health’

Our Children: Our Future

To Kiss A Child

And my all time favourites:

The Abc Of Parenting

To Parents From Their Children

Daddy Can I borrow $10?

And from the frutes of your hard work:

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

More stuff found in my ‘Parenting’ category here.

A Mother’s Love

Posted in Miscellaneous, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , on August 2, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

Another interesting something I found hidden in the world of the internet:

(Whether its true or not, Allaahu ‘alam, most probably a fabricated story, however an interesting read)

There was this young man about twenty years old named Jamal. Jamal was approached by a salesman, Adam, who offered Jamal one hundred thousand dollars (or dinars) for his mother’s heart.

Jamal, with dollar signs in his eyes and greed in his heart, took the offer to be literal and went home right away and with a dagger claimed the life of his mother and tore out her heart and hurriedly started back towards the marketplace to find the salesman. On his way to the marketplace, Jamal tripped on some pebbles and as he fell down he dropped his mother’s heart and it got all dirty with the dust from the ground. After he fell, a soft voice came from within the heart and said: “O my son, are you alright?

Startled, Jamal realized what he had done and started crying. He cried so much that the tears from his eyes rolled down his cheeks and with those tears the dirt on the heart was wiped clean. Jamal, now desperate, wanted a way out of the major sin he had just committed.

He picked up his dagger and pulled it up and was about to take his own life. Suddenly, the same soft voice came out a second time from the heart. This time it stated: “O my son, do not kill me twice.

This story definitely symbolizes a mother’s love for her child. The Quran and Sunnah show the importance of one’s parents.

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