Archive for rib

Advice For Brothers Regarding Intimacy

Posted in Brothers Base, Marriage with tags , , , , , on August 26, 2013 by TheAuthenticBase

“Women also have desires, emotional and physical. It is not immoral of her to ask for intimacy, it is only her innate nature.”

Introduction: Realize that women also have sexual desires. Although their main desire is emotional, they also have that sexual urge. Don’t ignore this as it could cause her harm. She is not immoral if she asks you for intimacy. Nor is she immoral if its continuous, it just means she has a strong urge for it, and this is the way she is. One of the purposes of marriage is to save ourselves from fitnah. And if you are not responding to her call, then this could cause her major problems. Indeed it could be that by you continuously refusing her call, not only would you damage her, but you could cause her to think of doing the haraam.  So, due to the “boil up” of desire within her, she could start to think about haraam acts. If she has this huge build up of desire which has no halaal avenue, then, when a good looking guy walks past her on the streets or elsewhere, she may start to think of haraam things. And indeed the Shaytaan will use her sexual frustration and exploit it in any possible way. O husbands, realise that by you continuously refusing her call, you could damage her chastity. How sad that she dies of thirst while water was available to her! Just because the Angels do not curse you for not responding to her call to bed, it does not mean you can take the matter lightly. If you want her to respond to your call, then lead by example and respond to her call.

Also, If you expect her to give up what she is doing and come to you for intimacy, then know that her mind will not be on the act, and her sole intention is just to quickly get the act over and done with and then rush back to her chores, which will now take even longer due to her having to do ghusl. And this may cause stress to her, and you! So instead of this downhill slope which has many negative knock-on effects, take into consideration that she may be busy or not in the mood for intimacy.

I will give advice about intimacy in three phases; before intimacy, during intimacy and after intimacy.

Before Intimacy: Know that it is from good manners to dress up for your wife. Ibn Abbaas said: “I love to beautify myself for the wife in the same way that I love for her to beautify herself for me because Allaah said, ‘And they have rights similar to those over them according to what is reasonable.’ [2:228].” [Tafseer Ibn Katheer]

It is a shame how some brothers desire their wives to be in perfect shape and to always look good yet show no concern to their wife’s physical desires. If your wife sees that you are taking care to look after yourself and look appealing to her, then this will naturally make her do the same. Is it logical that you wish your wife to be slim and in shape while you are out of shape and unhealthy?

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How To Treat A Wife

Posted in Brothers Base, Marriage, Miscellaneous with tags , , , , , on December 9, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

The Prophet (saw) said:

Woman was created from a bent rib. If you want to enjoy her, you enjoy her while she is still bent. If you will try to straighten her, you will break her.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim]

And A beautiful Quote:

“A women came out of the rib of man,
not his feet to be walked on,
nor his head to be superior over;
she came from his side to be his companion,
under his arm to be protected,
and next to his heart to be be loved.”

5 Secrets Of A Successful Muslim Husband

Posted in Adab (Manners), Brothers Base, Marriage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2010 by TheAuthenticBase

5 Secrets of a Successful Muslim Husband

A successful Muslim husband isn’t:

1. A Muslim husband is not stingy when it comes to money and he spends freely on his wife and children. “The best charity is that which comes from one when he is wealthy and begins with those whom you are responsible to support.” (Bukhari).

A Successful Muslim Husband is:

2. A good Muslim husband helps his wife out around the house with the household chores.

Many husbands believe that housework is only for women and think that it’s beneath them to help their wives with the household chores. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, when a wife sees that her husband takes the responsibility to help her with the housework, she grows in admiration and respect for him and can’t help but want to do as much as she can to please him. This doesn’t mean that a husband should be expected to work all day long and then come home and cook and clean and do the laundry while his wife has been home all day doing nothing. However, there is nothing wrong with him giving a helping hand to his wife whenever it is needed or in him taking care of his own needs –such as mending his own clothes, especially and particularly, if his wife is busy with the children or with other tasks, or is sick, pregnant or just needs a break from the work in the house. “He (Muhammad) used to tend to the work of his family.” (Bukhari).

3. A Muslim husband accepts his wife’s inconsistencies and her faults and he doesn’t try to make her personality like his, because to do so would break her spirit.

Too often, men try to mold women’s personalities into their own image. This is a mistake that often leads to resentment and anger on the woman’s part. It is also dangerous because it erodes her self- esteem and destroys her individuality. Instead, he should be tolerant and respect her unique feminine nature. If there is an element of her personality that he dislikes, it is on him to change himself or his outlook but he should not try to change her personality. This, however, does not apply to religious issues such as hijab, salat, obedience to the husband or other issues that have been made incumbent on her by the Shariah.

No male believer is to hate a female believer. If he hates a trait in her then let him be pleased with another trait.” (Muslim).

Woman is like a rib: If you try to straighten it out you will break it.” (Al-Bukhari/Muslim).

Treat women kindly, for woman was created from a rib. The part of it that is most bent is the top. If you try to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain bent. So treat women kindly.” (Bukhari/Muslim).

4. A good Muslim husband doesn’t tell his bedroom secrets. “The most evil of people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Judgment will be a man who was intimate with his wife and then went and told others about her secrets.” (Muslim).

5. A good Muslim husband doesn’t neglect his appearance and he keeps himself physically fit.

It is not only an obligation on the Muslim woman to keep herself looking and smelling good for her husband, but it is also an obligation on the husband as well to set the example and keep himself looking good for his wife. In fact, I believe that in most cases it is the husband who sets the tone in the house in this area because if his wife sees that her husband is going to a lot of extra trouble to keep himself looking good, then more than likely she will also try to keep herself looking good for him. In this way both of them are complementing each other and this helps to keep their marriage fresh and alive. He should also exercise regularly and not allow himself to become over-weight and out of shape. At home, he should dress neatly, make sure that his hair is combed and that his general appearance is clean.

Whoever has hair let him look after it properly.” (Abu Dawud – Allaahu ‘alam of the authenticity of this hadith)

If it were not for the fact that I did not want to overburden my Ummah, I would have ordered them to use the siwak before every prayer.” (Bukhari/Muslim).

O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place….” (Quran 7: 31-32).