Archive for wife

The Marriage Of A Noble Qurayshi Woman To A Slave

Posted in Inspirational Stories, Marriage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2016 by TheAuthenticBase

‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (ra) encouraged the people to perform marriages with different tribes, so that love would develop amongst the people. Therefore, a slave went to a man from the Quraysh and asked him to marry his sister to him, which the latter refused.

‘Umar went to that man and asked him, “Why did you not marry your sister to him? He is a talented and pious individual. You should seek the opinion of your sister; if she accepts the proposal then you should marry her to him.

The man from the Quraysh accepted the advice of ‘Umar and went to his sister to ask her opinion. She agreed to the marriage and the married his sister to the slave.

[Al-Murtadaa, by An-Nadawee, p. 106]

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A Letter To A Mujaahid’s Wife

Posted in Miscellaneous, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , on December 20, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

“Dedicated to my princess.

You never once complained when you knew that we would have nothing. You were contempt on having only what little you needed. Where others would have left or moaned, you never once let out a sigh. You understood that what was written was what we would eat. I never once complained abut what was put in front of me as I knew it was your hands that brought it to me. When I had nothing I had you. You put your trust in your Rabb (Lord) and in turn you followed me.

Never did I have to wonder about you as my secrets, my honor and my deen were safe with you. We both know what hardships you faced just by being with me, but not a word did you speak. You were strong and in turn made me strong. Like a vanguard for this Ummah, you concealed yourself. Where others would rush to please their desires, you were the essence of taqwaa (piety).

Life was easy with you and it came so naturally. You were the extension of me and I would never need to finish my words, as who knew me better than you? You knew your place which was by my side. It is the little things that make the person and you would easily have kept me going for a lifetime. The way you would look at me with fire in your eyes showed me that I was the only one for you. You stole my heart and hid it away.

I loved your jealousy and I loved to tease you with the thought of others just so I could know how dear I was to you.

What chance did shaytaan have when you would ensure that fajr was the easiest of the salaahs. I loved that you would forsake me in an instant to fast a voluntary fast. I loved that the haqq (truth) was dearer to you than my life and those of our jewels.

Watching you makes me laugh as I wonder if my heart will ever want another as I se you feed my child, as you lift her out if the bath, as you wipe her little nose and the face she pulls. You will never find a diamond in te hands of another in the same way our diamond deserves to be carried in your hands. We could have it all my love, but who sells paradise for an hour of passing pleasure? No us.

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‘Umar’s Respect To The Wives Of The Prophet (saw)

Posted in Inspirational Stories, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab was very protective of the Prophet’s wives. They were all very innocent and pious and yet, as ‘Umar certainly remembered, that did not stop the hypocrite ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ubay from slandering ‘Aa’ishah. Thus, ‘Umar would do everything in his power to safeguard the honour of the Prophet’s wives.

So when the Prophet’s wives asked ‘Umar to perform Hajj, he denied their request. Then, when they continued to implore him for permission, he met them halfway, saying to them: “I will grant you permission to go the following year, and yet even that is something I do not truly agree with.

The following year,’Umar sent ‘Uthmaan Ibn ‘Affaan and ‘Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn ‘Awf to accompany the Mothers of the believers during their pilgrimage. And ‘Umar gave both of them strict orders; one of them was to walk ahead of the Prophet’s wives, and the other was to walk behind them. They were not to allow anyone to walk alongside the Prophet’s wives. When they had to stop to set up camp, they were to set up camp in a mountain pass (an enclosed area); as long as the Prophet’s wives rested inside the mountain pass, they were to stand guard at the entrance of the mountain pass; they were to allow no one to enter upon the Prophet’s wives.

And when the Prophet’s wives performed Tawaaf around the Ka’bah, they were to forbid all men from performing Tawaaf at the same time.

[Tabaqaat, by Ibn Sa’d, 8/109]

Do Not Use Quraan And Hadeeth To Establish Your Authority

Posted in Marriage with tags , , , , , , , on September 5, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

It is very common for Muslim men to pointedly remind their wives about the Quraanic verses and hadeeths that declare their superiority and special rights over her, especially in the first few days after marriage. The most common reminders are (1) that the husband has the right to take up to our wives without his wife’s consent; (2) if prostration were permissible to anyone other than Allaah (swt), the Muslim woman would have been commanded to prostrate to her husband; (3) the husband has the exclusive right to verbally issue a divorce; and (4) he can call her for sexual intimacy at any inopportune time, or restrain her movement outside the house, or even stop her from visiting her close relatives.

The new bride might be callously reminded of these facets of her husband’s superiority the minute she admits to missing her family or asks for a visit to her parent’s home…

What impact doe this action – of reminding your wife of your superior rights or ruthlessly exercising them to proactively establish unilateral control – have on the innocent and well meaning Muslim girl who has come to your house? What will she think of you if you say and do such things to her?

In addition, what does such a behaviour on your part imply about you as a person? Definitely that you, as a man, are insecure, and that you are using your Islaamic rights in a feeble attempt to establish authority over her.

A man who is self-confident and righteous will never use this inappropriate method to try to control and dominate his wife. He is not insecure as her husband and does not think that the only way to ‘have her all to him’ is to trap her in his house, making her serve him all day like a personal valet.

Therefore a good Muslim husband should never remind his wife of his higher status, unless she persistently disobeys him or does actions that r forbidden by Allaah (swt). The bes way to make her obey is to let her have everything she wants – everything allowed by Islaam that is – and to focus on giving her, her rights, over and above what she deserves. She will then automatically become the devoted faithful and obedient wife that you want her to be.

[Traversing The Highs And Lows Of Muslim Marriage, by Sadaf Farooqi, Pp. 69-70]

Advice Of Ibn Taymiyyah To Muslim Women

Posted in Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , on August 20, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

Ibn Taymiyyah said:

“The way in which to tell what is for men (i.e, their dress code) and what is for women is by the custom and what is suitable and what befits the two sexes and that which the religion has stipulated for them both with regards to their dress code.

Women’s beauty should be concealed from men at all times and they should not expose themselves to strange men. They are forbidden from wearing trousers, hooded cloaks, short dresses and so forth.

Women are also ordered to not raise their voices due to the fact that their voices affect other male’s hearts in public and this is one of the reasons why women are not allowed to raise their voices in the call to prayer. They should not make du’aa (supplications) or thikr (words of remembrance prescribed in the sunnah) out loud in the presence of non mahrams, nor do they climb Safa or Marwa (two smal mountains in Makkah). So the women are advised to cover their faces and hands from non-mahrams.

It is related in An’ni’hiya that men should have certain clothes which distinguish them from women and vice-versa: women should have clothes that distinguish them as women.”

[Majmoo’ Al-fataawaa, 22/148]

Greeting Your Husband Upon Entering Home

Posted in Marriage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 5, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

Oh sister, know that you will neither obtain lofty mannerisms nor a healthy marital life until you greet your husband like the greeting of the most gracious of hostesses to their guests. Be keen in rushing to welcome your husband upon entering the home with a warm embrace [as this shows you were looking forward to see him and hence makes him feel loved].

Kiss him with love and respect, a kiss of affection and enthusiastic desire. For this will cause him to have a strong bond with you, and in turn he will come to recognize your rights over him.

[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, pp. 40-41]

Sisters’ Only Jihaad

Posted in Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , , on June 5, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

When asked about women’s jihaad, many people quote the hadeeth about hajj being a woman’s jihaad, but rarely do we see the following hadeeth being quoted.

A woman came to the Prophet (saw) and said:

“O Messenger of Allaah! I come to you on behalf of a group of women. For the men is al-jihaad and the spoils of war. What is for us?”

So the Prophet (saw) said:

“Convey to those whom you meet from the women that (a) obedience to the husband and (b) respect for his status is equal to that, and how few from amongst you actually does it.”

[Al-Bazzaar & Tabaraanee]