Fiqh-Us-Sunnah, Volume 4, Janaa’iz (Funerals)
CHAPTER 5: Mourning For A Deceased
{{NOTE: Please note that all my notes from my study circle/class are between these double-curly brackets in italic. }}
It is permissible for a woman to mourn for a period of three days on the death of a near relative, provided that her husband does not object to her doing so. It is not permissible for her to mourn for more than three days, except in the case of her husband’s death, when she is to mourn for four months and ten days, which is a legally prescribed period of waiting or “iddah”. This is reported by the group, (The compilers of the six most reliable hadith books generally known as Sihah Sitta) except Tirmizhi. They report from Umm ‘Atiyyah, that the Messenger of Allah said: “A woman should not mourn for any deceased person for more than three days, except in the case of her husband’s death, which she may mourn for a period of four months and ten days. Such a woman (in mourning) is not to wear any (brightly) colored dress {{NOTE: Which is forbidden anyway}}. She may wear only plain dress. During this period she should not use any adornment or eye makeup, nor wear any perfume, nor dye her hands and feet with henna, nor comb her hair, except at the end of her menstruation period, when she may use some cleaning or refreshing agents (such as perfume, etc. ) to get rid of any offensive smell left over from her period.” Accordingly, when a widow mourns, she must not use any adornment, such as jewelry, kohl, 58 silk, perfume, or henna dye on her hands and feet. A widow must observe this waiting period in deference to her late husband’s memory and to fulfill her obligations toward him.
CHAPTER 5a: Preparing Food for the Bereaved Family is Encouraged {{NOTE: Vice-versa is a biddah}}
Abdullah ibn Ja’far {{NOTE: Ja’far died as a shaheed, r.a, and was the prophet (saw)’s cousin. He was identical to him (saw) in the facial features.}} reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: “Prepare some food for the family of Ja’far, for what has befallen them is keeping them preoccupied.” This is narrated by Abu Daw’ud {{NOTE: AD 3132}}, Ibn Majah and Tirmizhi, who grades it as a sound hadith.
{{NOTE: This should only be done purely for the sake/pleasure of Allaah. It shouldn’t be done for show or to repay a favour (no reward if done like this)}}
The Prophet, peace be upon him, recommended this practice for it is an act of virtue and kindness and brings friends and neighbors closer to each other.
Ash-Shafi’i said: “It is recommended that the relatives of the deceased prepare enough food to feed all the deceased’s family for one day and night, for it is the sunnah of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and a practice of good people.” {{NOTE: It aint a MUST to do this for 1 day and 1 night. It really depends on how busy they are- how struck they are with this calamity. Give food for more than a day and night depending on the situation.}}
The scholars hold it commendable to urge the deceased’s family to eat so that their sorrow or excessive grief will not cause them to avoid food and thereby become weak. These scholars also hold that to offer food to the women while they are mourning loudly is not permissible, for it would be helping them in something sinful. {{NOTE: Helping evil is just like doing evil.}}
All the schools of Islamic law disapprove of the deceased’s family preparing food for the people coming to pay their condolences, for it adds to their grief and further encumbers them unnecessarily. Such a practice would also resemble the custom of the Arabs before Islam. Referring to this practice, Jarir says: “(In those days) we considered it a part of mourning to assemble at the deceased’s house and prepare food after burial for those gathered there.” Some scholars consider this to be absolutely forbidden (haram). {{NOTE: Ahmad 2/204 }}
Ibn Qudamah observes: ‘It is permissible, however, when there is genuine need for it, since sometimes people attending the funeral may be from distant places, and they have to stay with the family of the deceased, in which case the family has to host such guests.
CHAPTER 5b: Preparing the Kafan (Shroud) and Grave Before Death
{{NOTE: Make as clean (and nice) as possible – As stated in a hadith. Though not expensive, because extravagance is haraam!}}
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