Archive for the Family Issues Category

Behind Every Successful Man Is A Mother

Posted in Parenting, Sisters Base on December 1, 2016 by TheAuthenticBase

Shaykh ‘Abdullaah ‘Azzaam said:

“Mothers play a great role in building a generation. The better a mother is at raising her children, the more successfully the Ummah is built and the more successful it is at producing heroes. You hardly ever see a great man except that a great woman is behind him who left some of her traits in his personality by way of the milk from which he was fed and the warm embrace in which he sought refuge.

Most men find it hard to remove these shining images from their minds that they retain of their mothers. These outstanding images that ran through his veins from a young age remain engraved in his mind, and he cannot help but to remember them with veneration and pride. He recalls the simple, clear words that his mother left his spirit with, and these words grow to become milestones in his path and guiding lights on his quest.

He cannot help but to place himself under the vast shade that his mother provided for him throughout the long course of his life, nurtured by the pleasant emotions and mixed with the eternal days of his life. These realities grow in his spirit and become an inseparable part of his personality that he cannot let go of without letting go of his humanity.”

[Majallat Al-Jihaad #36]

Advertisements

The Marriage Of A Noble Qurayshi Woman To A Slave

Posted in Inspirational Stories, Marriage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2016 by TheAuthenticBase

‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (ra) encouraged the people to perform marriages with different tribes, so that love would develop amongst the people. Therefore, a slave went to a man from the Quraysh and asked him to marry his sister to him, which the latter refused.

‘Umar went to that man and asked him, “Why did you not marry your sister to him? He is a talented and pious individual. You should seek the opinion of your sister; if she accepts the proposal then you should marry her to him.

The man from the Quraysh accepted the advice of ‘Umar and went to his sister to ask her opinion. She agreed to the marriage and the married his sister to the slave.

[Al-Murtadaa, by An-Nadawee, p. 106]

Blessed Mothers

Posted in Inspirational Stories, Parenting, Sisters Base with tags , , , , , , on September 20, 2015 by TheAuthenticBase

Umm Salamah:

During the battle of the Camel, the Mother of the Believers Umm Salamah (ra) sent her son ‘Umar Ibn Abi Salamah to ‘Ali with the message: “By Allaah, he is dearer to me than my own self; he will go out with you to fight alongside you.” He went out with ‘Ali (ra) and remained with him. [Ansaab Al-Ashraf, 4/224]

Mu’aathah, the wife of Silah:

Silah Ibn Aktam told his son: “O my son, go ahead and fight!” His son went ahead and was killed. Later on Silah himself was killed. When Mu’aathah the wife of Silah received the news of the death of both her husband and son, she told the woman who came to give their condolences: “If you are coming to congratulate me then welcome. If you are here to give me condolences then you must leave!” [Siyar A’laam An-Nubula, quoting from “Mashari Al-Ashwaq Ilaa Masari Al-Ushaaq” by Ibn Nuhaas]

Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr:

The Battle Of Qaadisiyyah (14H) which occurred during ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaabs reign lasted for four days. On the second day of the battle, Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr urged her sons to fight. In the Muslim women’s camp in Al-‘Udayb, Al-Khansa’ Bint ‘Amr – the poetess of Banoo Sulaym whose career straddled the jaahiliyah and Islaam – sat with her four grown sons, urging them to fight. She said, “You became muslim willingly and migrated by choice. You know what Allaah has promised of great reward to the Muslims who fight the kaafirs, and you know that the realm which abides is better than the realm which will pass away. Allaah says, ‘O you who believe! Endure and be more patient [than your enemy], and guard your territory [by stationing army units permanently at the places from where the enemy can attack you], and fear Allaah so that you may be successful.‘ [3:200] If you wake up safe and sound tomorrow, inshaaAllah, then go and fight your enemy, seeking Allaah’s support against His enemies. When you the fighting grow tense, then go forth. If you do that, you will gain booty and honour in the Hereafter.”

Umm Haarithah:

Haarithah was killed during the battle of Badr by a stray arrow. Anas narrated that the mother of Harithaah came to the Messenger of Allaah and asked him, “O Messenger of Allaah, won’t you tell me about my son Haarithah? If he is in Paradise I would be patient. If he is not I would cry for him.” The Messenger of Allaah said, “Have you lost your mind?! It is not one Paradise but many, and your son is in the highest one: Al-Firdous!” [Bukhaaree]

How Az-Zubayr Used To Name His Children

Posted in Brothers Base, Methodology Of The Salaf, Miscellaneous, Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

Due to Az-Zubayr’s deep love of martyrdom, he named his sons after martyred Companions.

Hishaam Ibn ‘Urwah narrated that his father said that Az-Zubayr said:

Talhah named his sons after Prophets when he learned that there would be no Prophet after Muhammad (saw). But I named my children after martyrs, in the hope that they will attain martyrdom:

Abdullah after Abdullah Ibn Jahsh, Al-Mundhir after Al-Mundhir Ibn ‘Amr, ‘Urwah after ‘Urwah Ibn Mas’ood, Hamzah after Hamzah, Ja’far after Ja’far Ibn Abee Taalib, Mus’ab after Mus’ab Ibn ‘Umayr, ‘Ubaydah after ‘Ubaydah ibn al-Haarith, Khaalid after Khaalid Ibn Sa’eed and ‘Amr after ‘Amr Ibn Sa’eed Ibn Al-‘Aas, who was killed at Yarmook.

[At-Tabaqaat, 3/101]

Do Not Use Quraan And Hadeeth To Establish Your Authority

Posted in Marriage with tags , , , , , , , on September 5, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

It is very common for Muslim men to pointedly remind their wives about the Quraanic verses and hadeeths that declare their superiority and special rights over her, especially in the first few days after marriage. The most common reminders are (1) that the husband has the right to take up to our wives without his wife’s consent; (2) if prostration were permissible to anyone other than Allaah (swt), the Muslim woman would have been commanded to prostrate to her husband; (3) the husband has the exclusive right to verbally issue a divorce; and (4) he can call her for sexual intimacy at any inopportune time, or restrain her movement outside the house, or even stop her from visiting her close relatives.

The new bride might be callously reminded of these facets of her husband’s superiority the minute she admits to missing her family or asks for a visit to her parent’s home…

What impact doe this action – of reminding your wife of your superior rights or ruthlessly exercising them to proactively establish unilateral control – have on the innocent and well meaning Muslim girl who has come to your house? What will she think of you if you say and do such things to her?

In addition, what does such a behaviour on your part imply about you as a person? Definitely that you, as a man, are insecure, and that you are using your Islaamic rights in a feeble attempt to establish authority over her.

A man who is self-confident and righteous will never use this inappropriate method to try to control and dominate his wife. He is not insecure as her husband and does not think that the only way to ‘have her all to him’ is to trap her in his house, making her serve him all day like a personal valet.

Therefore a good Muslim husband should never remind his wife of his higher status, unless she persistently disobeys him or does actions that r forbidden by Allaah (swt). The bes way to make her obey is to let her have everything she wants – everything allowed by Islaam that is – and to focus on giving her, her rights, over and above what she deserves. She will then automatically become the devoted faithful and obedient wife that you want her to be.

[Traversing The Highs And Lows Of Muslim Marriage, by Sadaf Farooqi, Pp. 69-70]

Advice On Raising Children

Posted in Parenting with tags , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

The school, the street, your neighbours, or maid should not play the largest role in raising your children. Rather you are specifically responsible for his task. The Prophet (saw) said:

A woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them.” [Bukhaaree]

Perhaps while you are cultivating your children, instilling within them guidance and moral standards, another person may come along and destroy that which you have worked hard to build. So do not allow others to raise and watch over your children; they may see from others that which disrupts the moral values that you have instilled.

Along with this, your home has certain standards and techniques in child rearing, which may differ from the techniques of you relatives. So observe your children an hour after mixing with their cousins. Do not neglect the importance of correcting misunderstandings, which they may have picked up while with other children; and encourage them to embrace the proper outlook.

[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, pp.56-57]

Greeting Your Husband Upon Entering Home

Posted in Marriage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 5, 2014 by TheAuthenticBase

Oh sister, know that you will neither obtain lofty mannerisms nor a healthy marital life until you greet your husband like the greeting of the most gracious of hostesses to their guests. Be keen in rushing to welcome your husband upon entering the home with a warm embrace [as this shows you were looking forward to see him and hence makes him feel loved].

Kiss him with love and respect, a kiss of affection and enthusiastic desire. For this will cause him to have a strong bond with you, and in turn he will come to recognize your rights over him.

[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, pp. 40-41]