To The Wives Of Muslim Scholars/Students Of Knowledge
Suplied by a sister Sanaa
Oh wives of the Daa’ies (those who work day and night calling to Islaam) and Mujaahideen, fear Allaah and be firm and patient. Verily you are the cause of the success of your husband’s struggle and the cause of its decline.
There is a saying that behind every great man is a great woman. Many people differ about this parable, between those in support of it and those who appose it. We all must agree about the importance of the wife in the life of her husband and the fact she has a role that if fulfilled, the boat of da’wah will sail peacefully and successfully. For this reason we find the Messenger Muhammad (saw) emphasised on the importance of the woman in more than just one place. He encouraged the Muslim man about the necessity to look for a wife with good Deen (practicing woman), who fears Allaah in her relationship with her husband, at his home and with his children.
We believe nobody will differ with us if we say that the Daa’ies are so needy for a unique, sophisticated, special, and magnificent wife unlike any other, who will stand by him through hardship and ease, supporting him, staying at his home helping him to fulfil his roles and responsibilities, encouraging him to carry da’wah more and more and to fulfil his mission.
The wife of a Daa’ie needs to have these qualities because:
1. The daa’ie is different from any other man. His time schedule is not like any others, nor is his concern like the concern of others. Therefore his actions and efforts will inevitably be different from the actions of other men. An average man’s concerns are nothing but his own personal concerns such as food, clothes and shelter. Whereas the daa’ies concerns do not stop to the limit of only a house, food and children but rather his concerns escalates to the level of being concerned about the recovery of the Ummah, to live her concerns and suffering and working actively to change that reality from a state of fear to a state of peace.
2. The normal man does not have any concerns but to seek his provision and to enter happiness into the hearts of his family by fulfilling their wishes. Whereas the work and concerns of the daa’ie will be multiplied and increased to the limit that he will have very little time left to his wife or to his own children, not to mention to be concerned about his health and wealth to a level where his wife may believe that he is neglecting her as he is so busy with the affairs of the Muslim Ummah, more than his own family affairs. Therefore if a Muslim woman does not support her husband who is a daa’ie nor does she have an extra talent that distinguishes her from any other woman, who looks to the concerns and visions of her husband and how much it is more important than any other concern, then no doubt her husband’s ship will face a huge struggle to sail in the ocean of difficulties from the enemies, opponents and disbelievers. And that will be the first nail in their relationship.
Excuse us if we put an example that could relate to you directly but we do not mean any particular person. Let us imagine a daa’ie who comes back to his home after a hard days work, exhausting himself for the sake of calling people to Islaam, commanding good and forbidding evil and elevating this Ummah for the sake of Allaah. Suddenly he finds that when he arrives home, there is a woman who declares her rejection, moaning and complaining about the long time she spends on her own at home or repeats in his ears the same list of complaints and demands and throws them over his head without to bother about the damage that could happen to him, their relationship or the da’wah.
Let us imagine a woman who looks in the face of her husband for a long time and yet she is surprised about the thoughts and ideas that he carries and the amount of energy he has that makes him look after the affairs of the Ummah, which doesn’t concern her at all. I have seen these women who put obstacles in the path of her husband, discouraging him and destroying his will and determination. Moreover she will make him withdraw his concerns, zeal and energy regarding his Deen and the Muslim Ummah and will start to work actively in disperse, discouraging him by letting him down and watering down his responsibilities, which will cause him to have depression. Moreover she will request and demand her husband to do things that are not important, very difficult or nearly impossible to do.
3. The difficulties and the dangers which will occur in the way, the bloody arrows which have been shot towards his chest and all other attacks from all directions will make him seriously need to have beside him a wife that understands the needs of the level of da’wah which he is at, to be patient with him, firm and supportive in his way which is full of thorns, hardship and pain. She must be patient, firm and realise that her husband is not the first and only one who walks on this path full of mines and thorns; rather history is full of men who have paid blood as a price for the da’wah and the Deen of Islam.