Ash-Sha’bee related that one day Ka’ab Ibn Siwaar was sitting in the company of ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (ra) when a woman came and said: “O leader of the believers, I have never seen any man who is better than my husband. By Allaah, during the night he stands to pray, and during the day he fasts. Even on hot days he does not break his fast. (1)” ‘Umar then prayed for her forgiveness, and he praised her, saying: “It is only befitting that I should praise one such as you.” The woman then felt shy (3) and so she stood up to leave. (4)
Ka’ab said: “O leader of the believers, should you not have helped her resolve her problem with her husband?” ’Umar said: “And what was her complaint?” Ka’ab said: “She is making a strong complaint against her husband.” ’Umar said: “Is that really what she wanted to convey to me?” Ka’ab said: “Yes.”
So ‘Umar said: “Bring the woman back to me.” When she returned, ‘Umar said, “It is permitted for you to speak the truth. Verily this man claims that you are complaining about your husband, and that your complaint is that he stays away from your bed.”
She said: “Yes. Verily, I am a young woman and I desire what all women desire.”
‘Umar then sent for her husband, and when he came, ‘Umar said to Ka’ab, “Render a judgement in their case.”
Ka’ab said: “The leader of the believers has more of a right to render a judgement in their case.” (5)
‘Umar said: “I insist that you judge before them, for indeed, you have understood from their affair that which I was not able to understand.”
Ka’ab said: “Verily, suppose that she had three co-wives and that she was the fourth wife. In that case, she would have had the right to one out of every four nights. Therefore, my judgement is that he may dedicate himself to worship for three days and nights and that every fourth day she has a right over him both during the day and during the night.”
‘Umar said: “By Allaah, I am just as amazed by this judgement of yours as I was by your initial ability to detect a problem. Go, for you are now the Judge of Basrah.”
[Mawsoo'ah Fiqh 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, p. 723]
1) ‘Umar was such that anyone could approach him and ask him a question or request a need of theirs. As busy as he was, he never neglected even the most “minor” of cases. Likewise he was easily accessible to the general population of Muslims, as anyone could easily approach him without having to get an appointment or go through many guards.
2) Women also have sexual desires as men do. It is not immoral of a woman if she has a strong urge for intimacy, as this is the way Allaah has created her. Even women form the Salaf had strong desires for intimacy. So it is not surprising, nor does it contradict piety or shyness if someone has a wife who has a very strong urge for intimacy.
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